By studying data over several years, Oak Labs has come out with the following predictions & timetable for Pune Water Cuts (Crisis). This timetable has been drawn up in 2012 but will apply just as well till the year 2019.
Predictions from 2020 onwards were found to be unsuitable for publication, fearing widespread unrest and law & order issues.
You can change the names & tweak the dates for these predictions to apply to any other city in India.
April
- Out of nowhere comes the news that Pune’s water stocks will not last till the monsoon.
- Water cuts enforced.
- Protests across town start gaining momentum.
- Outrage on Facebook / Twitter / Newspapers.
- Morchas on nearest civic office. Likely that a face or two will be blackened by some Sena.
May
- Delegations make pleas to the Pawarful for no increase in water cuts.
- The Pawarful announce that there will be no increase in cuts for the time being.
- It will be projected through the media that the Pawarful have gone out of their way to ensure adequate water supply for Pune. All hail the Pawarful!
- Protests fizzle out due to helplessness and well before they could do any damage to the establishment.
- Audi and BMW sales report a sharp rise. Many local politicians make a fortune by providing water at many times the official rate.
End of June:
- Increase in water cuts.
- Politicians & Pune Municipal Corporation (PMC) claim to be helpless.
- It is told that this is only a temporary measure and that the water cuts will end as soon as the city gets good rains.
- Ruling politicians say that the strictest action will be taken as those responsible for the water mismanagement. Nothing will be done in the matter.
- News about PMC action against anyone using corporation water for other than domestic needs. The more socially conscious citizens now secretly wash their cars & water their plants, the rest continue brazenly.
- Daily press reports about how many days of water stock is still left. No one bothers to question the logic & veracity of such claims.
July:
- End of June & early July is when the water cuts will be at their worst, cause the PMC can now blame the delayed/poor rains, irrespective of whether the rains are actually delayed/poor.
- Civic activists think the rains are just around the corner so there isn’t much time to build an agitation.
- Punekars face torture under mega water cuts.
- In ‘Lagaan’esque fashion, gazing the skies for monsoon clouds will become the primary pastime of Punekars.
- Again like Lagaan, Pune will celebrate the first rains in the hope that the water crisis is over. Nothing of that sort will happen.
- Ministers & sundry will pray for rains at Pandharpur wari events & every other religious event they are invited to.
- Strange religious ceremonies are performed. Even frogs are forced into a matrimony. All supposedly for the rains.
- Focus will shift from PMC to the meteorological dept. in early July.
- The met. dept. will consistently mess up all predictions.
- Met. jokes will flood twitter.
August:
- Poor rains claim will continue. Water cuts continue.
- 10s of articles in Pune press about rainfall patterns, cloud seeding, global warming, drop in rainfall, El Nino effect, etc.
- Most have by now forgotten that it wasn’t the rains that failed Pune but the incompetent / corrupt administration.
September:
- Normal water supply restored. Let the splurge begin!
- All is forgotten & forgiven by Punekars.
- There’s no action taken against water officials.
- Opposition parties start looking for new emotional issues. Will take up water again in March next year.
